Hello hello lovely people. So I went to the voice therapy class yesterday where my instructor, Helen played me a recording of my voice a few months ago. I was absolutely astonished with the change! It sounds like my air ways are finally becoming clear! It's strange how you get so used to something, and then when it begins to clear you feel other areas in your life come together. This week I got offered to apply for a marketing position, was not late for work (am late most days...) I got a hug from a little brown haired boy in the street and got taken on a fabulous date with my boyfriend of three years. I actually felt like it was one of our first dates and this makes me feel like I have a new found secret and little bubbles floating around in my body :)
Saturday morning now, I am going to watch Come Dine With Me - guilty pleasure.... go for a swim, shop and then drinks with some sassy ladies. Enjoy the weekend, it's aall yours!!

I have now begun voice therapy classes to open my airways and cull the husky from my voice. Did you know we all have a set of false vocal cords? They are there as a kind of back up. My therapist said I may even become a good singer! O dear, we shall see. It's strange how my voice has just kind of got more and more husky, until one day that's all it was; like the first grey hair to a head of grey or the hardening of a chalice. I don't feel scared or worried about it though, I know that I must work on my cords and try and open them like I know that we must all try and open the little reluctant wee crevices of our insecurities. Take the plunge. Make it count.

This morning the whole city looks dusty. As I lift my tired eyes I can see the dust particles sitting in mid air, they aren't in a rush, they just sit there looking rested. I have never been to America, but today reminds me of a book I read about two young hooligans traveling over that landscape. I pictured it to be like this day with the moody low clouds, busts of strong sunlight and peaceful dust covering everything with it's soft arms. This book that I read also makes me think of my favorite song at the moment; Little Black Submarines by the Black Keys, and I think I came up with a genius idea! -  Read a book while listening to your favorite song/album then this song becomes the theme song for this particular story. Anyway, as I look ahead on this Tuesday morning, I realise I cannot quite make out the city and its usual detail. All I see is tall buildings and the outlines of other large shapes, but what I can see is the road way ahead and to the right, the ocean. They seem to be the only things not coated in this magical morning dust. And I think to myself, this is going to be a good day.

pics that make me dream

Woke up, painful muscles from snowboarding,
Weary mind, soft bed.
Stiff suits.
Warm beanie and sushi with lunch.
Home to spicy food and a wet kiss.
Read book, enter adventure city.
Snuggle into a warm neck.

Last night I dreamed of a cliff with a trail of daisy's tracing the edge. I came to a halt and saw that all the flowers were mini feet; I began to walk in their steps. As I done so I realised that they were steps, I had been here before and I was now back on track to something I am yet to discover.

Monday's Musings

Today is a blobby, warm, mindless day. It bemuses me how fast time goes by when you are pottering around allowing your mind to wander, compared to a days work where every hour drags on so painfully that you begin to feel resentful about time itself.

I must be getting old, I walked home from work on Wednesday almost in tears. I was listening to Otis Reading and fuming about my bank job. I walked in, turned on the TV so there would be no silence between a howling black man singing in my ear and the Hollywood dramas. I walked into the kitchen to retrieve the cask of red wine that I stashed in the cupboard and poured myself a large glass. It was right then, at that moment that I realized that I am getting old, I smiled and thought of texting my friends to let them I know. I also wanted to tell them to love and appreciate Uni while they are still there; because at least they are doing something they love, something that drives them wild and tickles all the dusty parts of their brains. Because when the day comes that you work in a bank, start fearing silence and stashing wine; you know that your entering some dark hole that will be hard to get out of. I sat back and felt the pencil skirt become tight. I closed my eyes and thought of a warm beach, coconuts and floating dreams once more.

Lets go...

First day of my self made writing and creative journey. Now that I've finished uni where I studied expressive arts, where I got to  well....do exactly that; express! I am here with an exploration of youth, ideals on home and how to get away from the blank-page-fear. This will be a little escape for me, I hope you enjoy it as much as I will. Steph x